


Sailor Moon Emo

by TheSalemBitchTrials



Category: (My) Immortal: The Web Series, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Break Up, Emo, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hipsters, Horny Teenagers, Mental Breakdown, Mood Swings, Parody, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:07:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26890396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSalemBitchTrials/pseuds/TheSalemBitchTrials
Summary: This takes place between Sailor Moon R and S, except the season goes in a totally different direction. Everything is going well in young Usagi's life...until a certain event triggers a complete mental breakdown that leads to her becoming the dreaded Sailor Emo!
Relationships: Chiba Mamoru/Chibiusa, Chiba Mamoru/Meiou Setsuna, Chiba Mamoru/Tsukino Usagi, Hino Rei/Tsukino Usagi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Sailor Moon Emo

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, there's quite a few nods to Sailor Moon Abridged and My Immortal in here. No, I didn't stick to canon because this is a parody! Yes, a few things such as character's ages are inconsistent with the time frame because I haven't watched the series in years. Yes, I purposely made Chibiusa to in fact be Usagi's older sister instead of daughter. And yes, Mamoru is a fucking tool.

Chapter 1

It was a warm April morning. The bluebirds were chirping, the wind was blowing, and the sun was just beginning to poke over the horizon. Beneath a soft pink and white checkered blanket, fourteen-year-old Tsukino Usagi slumbered peacefully, a little black cat at her feet. "Mmm...Mamo-chaaaan," she murmered, hugging her drool-stained pillow close to her body. "Oh, Mamo-chan, you're sooo dreamy!" she sleep-giggled, kicking her sock-clad feet.

The teen's stirring awoke the sleeping feline at the foot of her bed. Luna made a spitting sound and puffed out her fur, leaping off the bed. This happened every damn morning since the two of them had gotten together. Though Luna was happy her charge had a loving boyfriend now, she was, if possible, more insufferable now than she had been when she was single and pining hopelessly after the guy. To be frank, Luna was at her wit's end, having to hear about how blue Mamoru's eyes were every fucking day.

In any case, it was almost time for Miss Tsukino to get the hell out of bed and off to school. Luna let out an angry yowl and pounced on Usagi's feet, all claws extended. "YEEEEEEEEK!" The girl shrieked, leaping from her bed and falling face first onto the floor. "Waaaaaaauuuuugghhh, Luna, you're such a meanie-beanie! Why'd you wake me up? I was having such a good dream!" she bawled. 

Luna showed no mercy, attacking Usagi's feet, playfully bunny-kicking them with her own. "You've got to get up some time, Usagi-chan," the exasperated cat grumbled, "It's Monday morning and you've got thirty minutes to get ready."

Still crying, Usagi pulled herself awkwardly up off the floor and stumbled over to her closet to get a fresh school uniform. Luna curled up on Usagi's pink bunny-patterned area rug and tapped her tail in aggravation. She shouldn't have let her sleep in, but the girl had had so much reading to do over the weekend that Luna couldn't help but feel kind of sorry for her. 

"It's not all bad, you know," Luna said, following her crying student who honestly felt like a child to her into the bathroom. Usagi was now somehow fully dressed, standing over the sink with a mouth full of toothpaste. "Hm?" the girl asked before spitting into the sink. Luna perched herself on the toilet lid and began licking her paw. "Guess who gets to see you-know-who after school today? You dooo!" the little cat sang. She felt a bit bad for treating Usagi so harshly so she wanted to cheer her up.

Usagi dabbed at her face with a pink washcloth then beamed. "Oh, right! Mamo-chan gets off work early today, doesn't he? I'm so excited!" she gushed. _Good heavens she's fucking glowing. She really is love sick,_ Luna thought. 

Usagi carefully brushed out her long blond hair, securing her trademark odango in place with little white flower clips. She even took the time to apply pale pink lipstick and matching eyeshadow. Luna noted that Usagi had never paid quite that much attention to her appearance before. _She must really want to impress him today,_ Luna thought. 

"All ready!" Usagi said cheerfully, slipping on her shoes. Before leaving her bedroom, she paused to spritz on a bit of cherry blossom perfume. "Usagi-chan, you're really dolled up today," Mrs. Tsukino said as Luna and Usagi entered the kitchen, "Are you and Mamoru going somewhere special?" her mother asked. 

Usagi suddenly seemed flustered. "O-oh, just to the-the ice cream parlor down the street, Mama. That's all!" she said, blushing crimson as she grabbed two slices of toast from a plate on the counter. "Love you!" Usagi called out to her mom as she grabbed her backpack from the floor near the dining room table where she'd left it. She scampered out the door. 

Luna couldn't help but notice the sleeve of another school blouse poking out of her backpack. A change of clothes? She had heard nothing of Usagi spending the night at Ami's house or anyone else's. Besides, it was a school night. Why? Luna needed answers now.

She followed Usagi out the door, running to keep up with her pace. Was Usagi up to what Luna thought she was up to?

"Usagi-chan, wait up!" Luna meowed, "I need to have a chat with you, young lady." "Lunaaa, I can't talk for long or I'll be late again!" Usagi whined. "I don't care, it's important," the cat snapped, jumping onto the girl's shoulders since she could no longer keep up, "Are you...going somewhere tonight?"

Usagi stopped in her tracks, blushing furiously. "W-well..Mamo-chan and I...we," she stammered. Luna was no fool. "You're staying over at Mamoru's apartment tonight, aren't you? You're planning on losing your virginity!" Luna exclaimed. 

"Luna, shhhhh! Not so loud!" Usagi whispered, "Yes, but I told Mama I'd be at Makoto's tonight to study for exams. Please don't say anything!" Luna frowned in concern. "Look, Usagi-chan. I know you love the guy, but isn't it a little soon? Not to mention he's so much older than you. This guy is four years older than you and starting college. You've only just started tenth grade! Isn't it a little inappropriate?" Luna asked, tail swaying from side to side.

Usagi pouted. "We've been dating for a year already," she said, "I'm in love, Luna! A girl can't wait forever, you know? We've been planning this for months. Besides, it's fated love," she said. Luna paused. She knew from experience how stubborn Usagi could be. All she could do at this point was give advice, there was no stopping that girl. "Alright, I'll let you go," Luna sighed, knowing she never had a say to begin with, "Just, please, please, please be careful. And for the love of Queen Serenity, use fucking protection!"

School dragged on as it usually did. If possible, Usagi payed even less attention to Ms. Haruna's lectures than before. Her mind was elsewhere in a dimly lit room with her Mamo-chan. Everyone noticed something was off, particularly her former best friend Naru Osaka. The two of them had grown apart since Usagi became a Sailor Senshi, but they were still on friendly terms.

"Hey, Usagi-chan, what's up with you lately?" Naru asked during lunch. Usagi's eyes were glazed over. She scarcely paid any attention to her yummy bento! This had to be serious business. "Ohh, nothing, I just get to go on a...date with Mamo-chan tonight," she sighed dreamily. Naru giggled and shook her head, "You never change, do you? For a moment I thought something weird was going on!" The bell signalled the end of their lunch period and the two girls got up and went their separate ways.

Usagi was relieved and excited once class was over. Before she left, she touched up her make up in the bathroom and ran gleefully outside. Luna was waiting for her beneath the bushes but decided to follow her charge rather than confront her. She had to keep an eye on that girl. 

Luna slinked, her body low to the ground as she followed Usagi down the street to the ice cream parlor. Mamoru's shiny black car was already parked by the curb. The man himself was sitting in one of the chairs out front, a mint ice cream cone in hand. He was wearing a green turtleneck and blue jeans.

 _Well that's not the kind of attire a young man should wear to such a big date,_ Luna thought disapprovingly, _he didn't even wait for her to arrive before ordering. So rude!_ If truth be told, though Luna tried so hard to be supportive, she honestly didn't like or trust Mamoru very much. Sure, he was a responsible, intelligent guy with a lot going for him, but he shouldn't be messing around with such a young girl. Luna had, in the beginning, tried to encourage Usagi to date a boy closer to her age. Maybe that Umino Gurio boy with the nerd glasses who lived on her block and constantly made any excuse to talk to her? Maybe the polite blonde-haired Canadian transfer student next door? Heck, even that boy Haruka who was two years older than her and drove a motorcycle would be better! But no, Miss Tsukino had eyes for only Mamoru.

Luna watched the young girl take a seat across from Mamoru. She seemed giddy already. Mamoru sat quietly while Usagi jabbered on about school. He seemed almost bored. Like he didn't care. Though Mamoru was far too old for Usagi in Luna's opinion, he had never seemed quite so cold, so uncaring. He usually listened intently to her chatter with a slight smile while holding her hand. Usagi, of course, was utterly oblivious to his disinterest. Luna felt sorry for her. 

"Mamo-chan?" Usagi asked. "Oh? Yes, Usagi?" he asked, "What is it?" "I asked you how it's been at the university lately," she said with a frown. What was going on? She hadn't noticed it until now but he seemed strangely withdrawn today. Distant. And he usually called her "Usako" or teasingly "Odango-Atama". Her name sounded so cold, the way he spoke it now. 

"Usagi, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," Mamoru said, his expression stony. "Yes, Mamo-chan?" She asked with baited breath. Why did it feel like her lovely date was about to go all wrong? "I'm dating your sister," Mamoru said bluntly.

Usagi burst out laughing. Her older sister Chibiusa (who she fought with tooth and nail but secretly adored) was about a year older than Mamoru and went to the same university, but the idea of them dating was absurd! "Oh, Mamo-chan, you're so funny! You had me there for a second," she chuckled. 

"It's not a joke, Tsukino-san," Mamoru cut in, "I've decided our relationship is, well...well, it's wrong. I'm too old for you. This isn't even legal. I'm a lot of things, Tsukino-san, but a pedophile's not one of them. It's time I dated a woman my own age."

Usagi began to cry. "Wh-Mamo-chan you can't be serious! We were married in a past life, we were going to do have kids! Tonight was supposed to be our special night, it was supposed to be you and me forever, Mamo-chan!" "Tsukino-san, please stop. You're making a scene," Mamoru said coldly. Even now, he didn't lose his composure. "How long has this been going on?" Usagi wailed. "Truthfully, Tsukino-san? A couple months now. Remember when you introduced me to your family and I met Chibiusa? Well, we really hit it off. She's really smart and such a lady. Very ambitious. She and I actually have a lot more in common than you and I do," he said.

"You're so cruel, Mamo-chan!" Usagi sobbed, "What's so great about Chibiusa? What's she got that I don't?" "Hey, now, don't take it so personally, " Mamoru said uncomfortably, "We just have more in common. She loves Neutral Milk Hotel, I love Neutral Milk Hotel. We both love craft beer, microbreweries, yoga, and upcycling. And we've got dreams of moving to New York City and attending a college for the liberal arts. I swear it's like she's my twin flame or something!"

Usagi continued to cry, though much more quietly this time. She blew her nose on her lacy pink handkerchief. "I don't get it," she sniffled. "Come on, can't you see it's better this way? You and me? Well, you're nice and all, Usagi, there's nothing wrong with you, but you don't get me like she does. I mean, I don't know a thing about manga and those video games you play and I'm not all that into going to arcades. Also...I think I'm going to go vegan soon. Better for my vibration, you know?" Mamoru continued, "I mean, I like you and I think you're a beautiful girl, but you're too young and not the one for me."

"That....witch!" Usagi exclaimed, "She's totally brainwashed you. Where's my Mamo-chan and what have you done with him?" She'd seen Chibiusa do this before. She was the ultimate hipster and seen as the coolest girl on campus. She set all the trends then dropped them as soon as they became popular. Countless men tried to be as underground as she was in an attempt to impress her. She'd toy with them for a week or two, then drop them. She'd never had a crush in her life and proudly referred to herself as an aromantic asexual in her Tumblr bio, saying that she was "above frivolous activities like romance, not like other girls". 

Except of course when it came to her boyfriend! Usagi pretended not to notice, but Chibiusa had been making eyes at Mamoru ever since she met the guy. Finally,,, someone more pretentious and accomplished than she was! Usagi honestly regretted introducing him to her family sometimes. But never did she think Mamoru would betray her like that! Never.

Usagi was still crying when Mamoru awkwardly patted her on the shoulder and said, "Goodbye, Tsukino-san." He pulled away in his car, presumably to never be seen again. 


End file.
